To other people's eye, they see me and my family as a 'One Big Perfect-Happy Family'.
I don't blame them, why should I? It's not their fault right? But they never seem to see the drama going on inside. I just hate it when someone compare lives with me, they keep on complaining and comparing, fine with me, but then they had to pull my 'family' into this. Saying like "Oh, you won't understand, your family is too perfect." Like hell! No offence. But seriously, if you wanna complain I don't mind, but please.. don't pull my 'family' into this. You don't know what's happening, you don't know the story and drama going on! Please don't randomly dump in non-sense!

I just bought this book after school today, secretly(kinda). It's not that I'm embarrassed, I just don't wanna show it to my parents, especially my mom. And my dad..*sigh* He'd just go lecture me and give a speech like 'I-know-it-all'. I really don't like that. Plus he's not willing to listen or be more understanding. I really don't wanna go through another 'lecture' and I don't wanna upset and disappoint him too nor make him feel guilty or such. Cause I don't want both of them to worry you know. I've been through lots of break-downs, but I'm ok. I'm just glad that I managed to survive and fight back.
I know it's not just me who's having dramas at home and I'm not the only one who's crying. I know everyone is. At least almost. There's no such thing as "Perfect-Family". I'm saying perfect family as in the ones you see in movies? This is reality. There's no such life like that. No matter big or small, everyone has their own problems.

I'm sorry for everything that I've done wrong. I'm sorry to be taking out my anger and frustration on you, my friends, some of my family. You know who you are, so I won't state any names. But thank you, thank you for coming this far with me, always supporting me. Always there to tell me not to give up. Thank you.
But I would state one name, hope you don't mind. That is Fishy! :P I bet while she's reading through this she must be thinking like "Oh, I wasn't much of a help. It's impossible she's talking about me." Etc. I'm just saying! Guessing. Not saying you are. Sorry please don't get the wrong idea or feel offended.

Anyways, really.. thank you so much. Please understand that it's not the fact that I don't wanna tell you guys or share anything, I know you all worry and are very helpful. But I just don't wanna cause more drama or trouble. I don't wanna burden you guys. But then again, I also don't where how to start, nor how to begin. So again, I'm sorry. Please understand.

I've just read a few pages, but so far that book is pretty good. I've gotten over a lot of stuffs and am starting to accept the fact of what's going on. Hopefully I'll get to understand better and learn more.
Please, bare with me.

I've lost my family, I can't talk to my sibling, so all I've left is you.
My fellow friends. Aside from family, my friends are what kept me going.
I love my friends. Without them, life would be so much harder.
I might not have gone through this either. I believe things would be harder if it weren't for you guys.
So again, thank you.

Please remember and know that I'll try my best to do the same and be here for all of you too.
Take care! Live wisely and happily. Try not to regret!
xxx



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