Diaries, diaries, diaries..
Friday, 24 August 2012 • 03:03 • 0 comments
OK so,
Diaries..diaries, diaries...
For the past few years I've kept a few diaries to myself. You know what a diary is right? I don't have to go too into detail just to explain it right? But just in case for some who don't know what a diary is, its basically a book, somewhat like a journal that we write about events and things into it but its all personal. And by personal, I mean 'personal'. Things that you'd like to keep to yourself and yourself only.
When I was younger, I've had a few diaries cause it was something pretty mainstream during my childhood and its considered somewhat 'cool' to have one, ya` know. But of course, I've never succeeded in keeping it or finish writing it to the very last page. I'm a half-hearted person when it comes to things like that. Hehe ^^" For a second I'm all into it then I'm not. Yeah.. But I've never understood the real reason to why I kept a diary then so I guess that's one of the main reason to why I wasn't whole-heartedly devoted into keeping one cause usually it's just bunch of childish things like oh I hate this girl blah blah blah.. cause back in my childhood days, when someone says "I hate you" oh boy.. game over. I don't really know how to explain this, but you get what I'm saying right? Well I'm sorry if you don't.
Anyway, so I've been thinking.. now a days I write in my diary to express my feelings. My emotion, the pain(usually) that I can't bring myself to tell others, personal things that I just feel like keeping to myself(not that I don't trust my friends or anything like that, but you know....) or just simply don't know how/what words to use to tell others. It's kinda like when I blog, I type out my emotions and how I feel which helps lessen this huge weight on my shoulders. I guess in other words, I write in my diary to prevent from breaking down cause it really really really is hard not being able to tell anyone and just keep everything inside of you. I've experienced break down and no shit.. it ain't fun I tell ya.
But like I said earlier, one of the main reason we write in a diary is to keep certain things personal but now that I think about it, what am I going to do if someone find my diary and start reading it?
(someone mainly my parent) The last person I want to find reading my diary are my parents.
So I've been thinking, what should I do with them? Burn them maybe?
Bury them? Sounds like a good idea to me. You know, put it in a box bury it in the back yard or something.
I've also thought about something, since anything could happen and we don't know what would happen next so in case, just in case, I for whatever the reason pass away suddenly or something, I think I want my diary to be found then. I've thought about it, if it were up to me, then maybe during my funeral I'd like someone to read a few pages of it? But of course I'm not trying to point any fingers and say anyone's guilty for the things that has happened in my life and that I've poured out in my diary and just to make things clear, I'm not angry and I do not blame anyone nor do I regret. Yes there are times when I'd go "Why me?", but honestly, I'm grateful for everything that has happened, big or small. Through those events, I've become who I am today and each and every one of them left me with a very important lesson. It taught me to stay strong and made me wiser. For that I'm forever grateful :)
Just know that I love you mom, dad and all my friends you guys rock!
BUT I WARN YOU ALL. Please respect my privacy lol.. don't go searching for my diary at my home once you finish reading this blog! I will fucking kill anyone of you who dare touch it!(Not kill, just probably put a death curse on you all who read it without my permission. So I guess you would still die from it? lol. How scary of me, I know. So PLEASE respect my privacy) And I'm still thinking, I'll probably do something with my diaries once I figure out exactly what I want to do with it.. As for now, may the secrets remain in the book and be kept within and to be read by me and me only.
Oh and dammit.. I'm so forgetful, I always leave out something!
Don't keep a diary if you're afraid your secrets would be leaked out. I tried very hard to keep everything to myself and just keep it in my heart, but I couldn't. It was too hard for me and I would have exploded that's why I pour it all out in my diary.
So lets just hope that the things I write will remain known to me only and the book but not anything beyond the book.
Labels: #diary #diaries
xoxo, DoReMi
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